Situation:
~It's the year 2100 and unexpected occurrences have taken place in the last century. Kansas officially split away from the United States in the year 2060 to become an independent communistic country. However, no one seemed to notice this until the year 2073. After the realization finally crossed the desk of a balding President Trump, Communistic Kansas was given no more than a sympathetic shrug. In the past few decades Kansas has made leaps and bounds in scientific innovations. Just recently Kansas found and cloned FDR's genetic material to recreate the great president to lead their country. America responded to this with their only invention of the 21st century, the Barack O-bot 5000.

Recent News:
~While life in Communistic Kansas may be progressing somewhat, we cannot forget that we here in America are also making great strides. Just last year we translated the ancient dialect of the Constitution into something more legible. It has now been shortened to the size of a post-it (which makes it more manageable) by shortening words and replacing words like "great" with text like "g-r-and the number 8." In addition, random capitalizations have been added throughout the document in order to actually make reading it more interesting.

~Kansas has recently announced that their country has reached an alarming 0% unemployment rate. Such an atrocity shall never happen in the United States of America as we well know the problems it will cause. Having a 0% unemployment rate means there will be no bums on the streets. And if there are no bums to urinate on the walls of our buildings, then wild animals will start to walk our streets and attack our citizens. Of course we know this would not be the fault of such beasts, as we were obviously not marking our territory.

~A new ideology is sweeping the United States that explains why poverty in America is a good thing. It called the "Buffalo Theory" and goes a little something like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the society can only operate as fast as the slowest member. The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace. Like the buffalo the weak, poor people are the ones that are beaten down by poverty, making the society work better. The general ideology being, poverty helps the economy.

~The United Nations has recently given Kansas the title of being a world power. (The United States lost that particular title when they decided that it would be nice if they gave ENRON a second chance). This has been seen as a good thing in America because it is now obvious that we need not worry about sinking any lower.